Life Won’t Be Perfect

By Xiaoyu

Yun, an ordinary country girl, had average looks and lived an inconspicuous life. However, unlike most people, she was a perfectionist since childhood. In study, work, association with others, and demands on herself, she always pursued perfection.

And so did she in her marriage. She imagined owning the love described in Qiongyao’s novels, so she was unwilling to follow parents’ arrangement like her peers, but instead wanted to have a perfect romance. Every time when she thought of her future Prince Charming, her heart would be filled with anticipation.

Since Yun was a perfectionist, she stood out in every work she did, which attracted many suitors. But she didn’t pay them any mind. Until one day, when Ming, her long-lost classmate in middle school, came to work in her company, Yun began to have feelings for him, for she had been impressed with him in junior school. But during that period she was too young to understand love. Now Ming already turned into a real handsome man, which allowed Yun to fall in love with him immediately. Meanwhile, due to Yun’s outstanding performance in the company, Ming began to pursue her. Then they fell in love.

It is often said every person is thoughtless when he is in love. Yun was no exception. She believed in every word Ming said. One time her best friend Juan told her that Ming was dating a girl of a big fortune once and that it was uncertain whether they had broken up. Juan also told Yun to beware of Ming. However, bewitched by Ming’s sweet words, Yun believed he was serious about her and she even put their wage cards together. Ming just came to work in the company and didn’t have many performance figures, and his daily expenses were all supported by Yun. Therefore, he was very obedient to Yun. For the sake of gaining footing in the company quickly, Ming always asked Yun to bring him to see their boss to get a closer relationship with the boss. For their promotion, Yun bustled about tirelessly.

Just when Yun was immersed in love, a sudden change of her company—the discontinuance of the business—overturned her life. And at that moment, Ming’s father, a village secretary, fixed Ming up with a good job in a public institution at their hometown. Before Ming left, Yun bought him a suit and gave him the last 700 yuan she had and a new-bought mobile phone (At that time, mobile phone first became popular), thinking that he need to be decent when facing new colleagues and leaders.

Later, the company went into bankruptcy. Yun also came back and told Ming to pick her up at the station. Yun had thought Ming would be very happy when seeing her; however, he was very calm and expressionless. When Yun asked Ming to go to visit her parents, he put her off hesitatingly. Yun felt something wrong, but she immediately denied her thoughts, thinking she loved him so much that he couldn’t betray her and maybe he just had some difficulties.

Several days had passed since Yun came back, but Ming had no contact with her. Yun felt something must have gone wrong. One day, Yun went to see Juan, a friend they both knew. Seeing Yun so helpless, Juan asked, “What’s your relationship with Ming?” Yun said, “He may be busy with his work these days. We haven’t been in touch.” Juan said, “Yun, don’t be silly! I went to Ming’s with my friends before you came back. His parents told us he was getting married to another girl. We also saw many photos of them at his house. Break up with him! I felt it right from the start that he had designs on you. Since you had good performance in the company, he wanted to use you to achieve his desires. He is not a reliable person and not worthy of your love.”

Yun didn’t know how she went back home that day. She was disintegrating for she never expected her first love would end up in this way. She was not resigned to the result and her love toward Ming turned to hate. She wanted to bring back the things belonging to her, so she went settle things with Ming; however, to her surprise, Ming was completely out of character, saying, “I don’t owe you anything.” Yun was at a loss for words. Later, Yun’s friend told her that Ming, such a mean person, wasn’t worth her tears. And she also advised Yun against having anything to do with him so that he would carry his guilt throughout his life. Thus, Yun broke it off with Ming. For that period of time after they departed, Yun’s life was in the grays and she always sang a song, the lyrics of which were “Love story is so perfect, but devastates me today….”

Later, through a matchmaker, Yun married Shuai, an honest and upright boy from the neighboring village. At that time Yun had lost hope in life and thought whomever she married, she would live muddling along. However, she never knew Shuai was very kind-hearted. Even though Yun was a most insistent person, he tolerated all her failings and never annoyed her for he thought Yun was perfect, which moved Yun so much. Yun began to open herself up to Shuai and they lived a peaceful and happy life. Now they had two daughters and the four of them lived happily together. Yun knew this was the real life.

Afterward, Yun learned from a friend that Ming was trying every possible means to ask for her contact details. But their classmates all told him that Yun was living a happy life now and that fortunately she didn’t marry him at that time. Though her friend said that Ming was constantly feeling he owed her too much, in Yun’s heart, it was water under the bridge and she thanked Ming for giving her such a vivid lesson. Her hatred had vanished long ago, for hatred came from love but she already had no love for him. She thanked God for bestowing Shuai upon her. She felt very satisfied.

Afterward, she saw God’s words saying, “One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will finally become their true other half, and one’s own notions count for little. After meeting a person you like, you can pursue that person; but whether he or she is interested in you, whether he or she is able to become your partner, is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile someone you never expected quietly enters your life and becomes your partner, becomes the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound. And so, though there are millions of marriages in the world, every one is different: How many marriages are unsatisfactory, how many are happy; how many span East and West, how many North and South; how many are perfect matches, how many are of equal rank; how many are happy and harmonious, how many painful and sorrowful; how many are the envy of others, how many are misunderstood and frowned upon; how many are full of joy, how many are awash of tears and cause despair….” (“God Himself, the Unique III”).

“I am well acquainted with the thoughts of man’s mind and the wishes of man’s heart: Who has never looked for a way out for themselves? Who has never thought of their own prospects? Yet even though man is possessed of a rich and prismatic intellect, who was able to predict that, following the ages, the present would turn out as it has? Is this really the fruit of your own subjective efforts? Is this the payment for your tireless industry? Is this the beautiful tableau envisaged by your mind? If I did not guide all mankind, who would be able to separate themselves from My arrangements and find another way out? Is it the thoughts and wishes of man that have brought him to today? Many people go their whole lives without having their wishes fulfilled. Is this really because of a fault in their thinking? Many people’s lives are filled with unexpected happiness and satisfaction. Is this really because they expect too little? Who of the whole of mankind is not cared for in the eyes of the Almighty? Who does not live in the midst of the Almighty’s predestination? Whose birth and death come from their own choices? Does man control his own fate?” (“The Eleventh Utterance” of God’s Utterances to the Entire Universe).

Yun sighed: Man can’t control his own fate. Marriage is not decided by man himself but depends on the predestination of the Creator. Only when one submits to the Creator’s arrangements, can he obtain the true perfection.

Just as God says, “Wherever one is, whatever one’s job is, one’s means of living and the pursuit of one’s goals bring one nothing but endless heartbreak and irrelievable suffering, such that one cannot bear to look back. Only when one accepts the Creator’s sovereignty, submits to His orchestrations and arrangements, and seeks true human life, will one gradually break free from all heartbreak and suffering, shake off all the emptiness of life” (“God Himself, the Unique III”). From God’s words, Yun understood the reason why she experienced so many misfortunes and pains was that she didn’t have the knowledge of the Creator’s sovereignty and predestination. She always wanted to seek a perfect life according to her own imaginations, only to get the reverse result. Now Yun finally understood that only when she submitted to God’s orchestrations and arrangements, would she break free from the suffering.

Yun felt thankful that she had found the source of perfection—the Creator.