4 Tips for Christians to Get Along With People and Build a Good Relationship
By Wang Zihan
For many people, dealing with people is the biggest problem. In real life, we will encounter many people; some are in line with our will, but some don’t conform to our will. As Christians, how should we treat people around us? What kind of the Lord’s requirements should we practice to conform to His will? … I found the answers to these questions in a book of truth and, moreover, when acting according to what the book says, my own relationship problem was really resolved. Therefore, I want to share some understanding based on my experiences with everyone. https://reurl.cc/jajeD
1. We should be fair and equitable in our treatment of everyone without relying on our emotions and preferences to act.
The Lord Jesus said: “For if you love them which love you, what reward have you? do not even the publicans the same? And if you salute your brothers only, what do you more than others? do not even the publicans so? Be you therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 5:46-48). The Lord’s words clearly tell us that as Christians we shouldn’t do this: We are honest with people only when they offer benefits to us, while we ignore them when they hurt us; we get close to them when we encounter those who are like-minded to us, while we discriminate against and shun those who are not after our heart; we fawn upon those in high positions or with great forces but exclude and belittle those without status or forces. If we do, we, just like non-believers, are not worthy to be called the believers in the Lord.
For example, when someone who is like-minded to us raises our deficiencies with us, we can accept, but if the person we don’t like does that, we will justify ourselves without obeying, and sometimes we will feel disgusted and conflicted, and even attack them. This shows that we act based on emotions and preferences, and that we are unfair to people. This is at odds with the Lord’s will. Since we believe in the Lord, we should follow Jesus to love others as ourselves. Regardless of whether others are like-minded to us, and no matter they are ordinary brothers and sisters or church leaders, we should treat them with sincerity and fairness, and have tolerance, patience and love instead of cheating and having prejudices against them. Only by doing so will we conform to the Lord’s will.
2. We should treat the failings and corruptions of others correctly, and shouldn’t delineate or judge others arbitrarily.
The Lord Jesus said: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with what judgment you judge, you shall be judged: and with what measure you mete, it shall be measured to you again” (Matthew 7:1-2). The Lord Jesus taught us that if others have transgressions or corruptions revealed we shouldn’t judge or delineate them arbitrarily. Let’s read the Bible to see how the Lord Jesus treats transgressors. Pharisees brought an adulterous woman before Jesus to see how He would deal with her. In accordance with the law, this woman would have been stoned to death, but the Lord Jesus didn’t condemn her but just told her not to sin anymore. From this practical example, we can see that the Lord Jesus particularly sympathizes with our human weakness. When we have transgressions, as long as we truly repent, the Lord will forgive us, and give us time and opportunities to change. Therefore, we should treat the failings or corruptions of others correctly and view others with an eye for development. This is only fair. If we treat others relying on satanic corrupt disposition, making harsh demands of others, trifling over minor matters, and arbitrarily judging and defining others, this is not in keeping with the will of the Lord, and we will absolutely have no normal relationship with others. https://reurl.cc/jajeD
For example, there was a sister in our church who always didn’t attend meetings on time because of passivity and weakness. I fellowshiped with her many times, but it didn’t work. I felt really angry over this and decided that she was not a sincere believer in God. So, I didn’t want to support her anymore or pay any more attention to her. Afterward, I saw the Bible say: “Let not him that eats despise him that eats not; and let not him which eats not judge him that eats: for God has received him. Who are you that judge another man’s servant? to his own master he stands or falls. Yes, he shall be held up: for God is able to make him stand” (Romans 14: 3-4). When I read this I felt quite ashamed. Thinking back on how God moved my brothers and sisters to support me when I was negative and weak and fell in defeat so that I could stay standing. Likewise, now when I saw that the sister couldn’t attend meetings on time because of family and secular entanglements, I ought to give her loving support. However, I did not feel worried or anxious about her life, and even gave her the cold shoulder and defined her as a believer who wasn’t sincere to God. I was so wicked and had no compassion. My actions were fundamentally inconsistent with the Lord’s intention. After realizing this, I came before God to confess my sins and repent, and decided to continue supporting the sister, fellowship with her out of love, and share my practical experiences with her. After several times of fellowship, she started to attend meetings regularly and even to do the church work. Through this experience I understood that during the period that God works to save man, no matter what weaknesses and failings we believers have or what kind of corruptions we reveal, as long as we are sincere believers in God and can repent before God, God will give us opportunities to change. Therefore, we should also help and tolerate others out of love, and treat everyone according to God’s requirements. We must not arbitrarily define or judge others. Only treating others this way is fair and conforms to the Lord’s will.
3. We should neither overestimate nor underestimate any of others, and learn to discover the strengths of others to make up our own shortcomings.
The Bible says: “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians: 2:3-5). When we get along with the brothers and sisters, if we look down upon those who are not talented and gifted or those who are foolish and of poor caliber because we have a certain level of capability and possess a little caliber and talent, this reveals our arrogance, which is the disposition of Satan. The Lord Jesus said: “And whoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted” (Matthew: 23-12). We should humble ourselves and modestly draw on the strengths of others to make up our own shortcomings. Only then will God be pleased with us, and our lives grow continuously. https://reurl.cc/jajeD
Besides, we should know that no matter others are stupid or smart, of good caliber or bad, poor or rich, we should not have prejudices against them or rely on affections to treat them. Whatever kind of appearance we have, whatever caliber and strengths and gifts we possess, these are predestined by God, so we have no reasons to find fault with others. Whether God saves a person does not depend on these external things, and therefore, we should not care about these. Rather, we should treat the failings of everyone correctly and learn to respect others.
4. When seeing others doing things in a way not in keeping with our own thoughts, we shouldn’t fixate on others’ issues but should first learn to know ourselves.
The Lord Jesus said: “And why behold you the mote that is in your brother’s eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye? Or how will you say to your brother, Let me pull out the mote out of your eye; and, behold, a beam is in your own eye? You hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of your own eye; and then shall you see clearly to cast out the mote out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew: 7:3-5). In getting along with others, it is impossible to avoid some minor friction. We shouldn’t blindly fixate our eyes on others, be obsessed with right and wrong or look to others for causes but should learn to find the problems in ourselves. When we know ourselves, then we will naturally put aside our prejudices against others.
I have deep experience of this. For example, a sister I was paired with raised my deficiencies with me many times, saying I didn’t have any burden in the work of the church. Not only did I not receive it from God, but I thought that she picked on me purposely and made things difficult for me. For this, I developed preconceived ideas of the sister and didn’t want to do the church work with her. Later, by seeking I came to know that my refusing others’ advice was dominated by my satanic nature of arrogance. At the same time, I recognized: Actually the people, events, and things that I encounter on a daily basis are set up by God for changing and saving me; it was not that the sister made things difficult for me. I should accept the matter from God, learn to put myself aside, accept the sister’s right advice, and actively open up and reveal my corruptions to her in order to achieve harmonious coordination. This would be beneficial to the church work and allow us to gain the truth. So, I started to practice according to God’s demands. I didn’t expect that the sister would also know her own deficiencies. Finally we were spiritually linked and became as harmonious as before.
The above four principles are some understanding based on my own experiences. Only by treating everyone fairly according to God’s teachings, and being able to benefit people around us can we live out the manner of a true person and glorify and bear witness for God. https://reurl.cc/jajeD
» You might be interested in:
• The Secret to Improving Interpersonal Relationships—Be an Honest Person
• God’s Words Has Resolved Conflicts Between Workmate and Me
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大家中午好，這幾天我的牙齒很痛，也吃藥了，也去禱告神 ，看到這篇文章對我也很有幫助，也分享給大家！
《你知道人為什麽會生病嗎》
你知道人為什麽會生病嗎
我從小就體弱多病，在我的記憶裡病痛幾乎沒有離開過我，兒時我就經歷了毒瘡、腫瘤、痔瘡的折磨；長大後頭痛腦熱對我來說猶如家常便飯，而且我冷天容易著涼，熱天容易中暑，身體還不能累著，稍微幹點重活腰就疼得像要斷了似的；因著血糖太低，我還常常頭暈、頭疼……真是大病不犯小病不斷。因著我的身體狀況一直很差，所以父母和兄弟姐妹都特別關心愛護我，生怕我累著、凍著。結婚後，丈夫對我也非常體貼照顧，從不讓我幹重的體力活，我常常被來自親人的愛護感動得流淚。可是，病痛給我帶來的痛苦折磨，家人卻不能為我分擔，只能替我四處求醫問藥。可令人失望的是，他們找了很多醫生也沒能找出我的病根，更別說根治我的病，使我恢復健康了！
有一天早晨我起床時，突然覺得全身很不舒服，腰疼得特別厲害，連起床吃東西都很困難，脖子也因落枕動彈不了，真是苦不堪言！丈夫請來了醫生，醫生診斷之後也查不出什麼原因，更沒有什麼好方法能減輕我的疼痛，最後只說了句：「這些病沒什麼大礙，過兩天自然就會好的。」可轉眼過了幾個月，我的病情卻未見好轉，一直躺在病床上接受著家人的照顧。因著病痛的折磨，讓我覺得人活著實在是太痛苦了！我一直在不停地想、不停地發問：人為什麼會生病呢？病痛究竟是從何而來？怎樣才能使自己遠離病痛、擺脫病痛的折磨呢？人若沒有病痛，健健康康地活著那該多好啊！https://reurl.cc/QmkM5
正當我在病痛中呻吟，心裡困惑不解之時，姐姐給我讀了一段神的話：「撒但將人敗壞後，人就越來越墮落，人的病痛也越來越加深，人的痛苦越來越加重，越來越覺人間的空虛、越覺人間的悲慘、越覺人間的不可生存，越來越沒有希望，這痛苦都是撒但加給人的。神要從撒但的手裡換回人類美好歸宿，務必得神自己親自體嘗這些痛苦、親自付出這代價，使人徹底歸向神。如今神已代替人受盡所有痛苦，親自付出這個代價，作了一個有力證據。人類以後再沒有人間的悲歡離合、沒有肉體的憂傷煩惱、沒有人間的生老病死，人就完全屬神了，進入人類美好歸宿了。」神的話解開了我心中的困惑，照亮了我死寂的心靈！原來神起初造的人並沒有這些病痛的折磨，是撒但將人敗壞後，人就活在撒但的黑暗權勢之下，活在墮落的肉體之中，才有了人世間的煩惱痛苦以及生老病死。但神並沒有因此而離開人、放棄人，而是默默地為人類付出，親自來到人間拯救人。兩千年前，慈愛的救主耶穌為了把人從撒但手中贖回來，親自為人類釘在十字架上。如今，神為了免去人類病痛的折磨，又實實際際地體嘗人間的痛苦，並且發表真理帶領人、拯救人，也實實際際地與撒但爭戰，為的是把敗壞墮落的人重新拯救回來，使人永遠脫離撒但的權勢，不再被它苦害、折磨，從而把人類帶入沒有痛苦、沒有煩惱的美好歸宿之中。在神的話中我不僅找到了人類病痛的來源，更體嘗到神那慈母般的愛與憐憫！同時，我也看見了蒙拯救的希望！
之後我便常常讀神的話語。在每一次的病痛中，我都來到神面前向神禱告，訴說自己的痛苦與軟弱，願神加給我信心與力量戰勝這病痛的轄制。後來我看到神的話說：「疾病臨到是神的愛，必有神的美意在其中，雖然肉體受點苦，撒但的意念別收留。疾病之中讚美神，讚美之中享受神，疾病面前別灰心，屢次尋求別放棄，神會光照來開啟。約伯的信心如何？全能神是全能的醫生！活在病裡就是病，活在靈裡就沒病，只要你有一口氣，神都不會讓你死。
……神的話語真甘甜！神話就是特效藥！羞辱魔鬼和撒但！摸著神話有依靠，神的話語速效救心！萬事皆無一切平安。信心就是一根獨木橋，貪生怕死難通過，豁出性命能踏實通行。人有膽怯害怕的意念，正是撒但的愚弄，怕我們越過信心的橋樑進入神裡面。撒但是想方設法總送意念，時時求神光照開啟，時時靠神潔淨我們裡面撒但的毒素，靈裡時時操練和神親近，讓神掌權佔有全人。」神的話語給了我信心與力量，讓我知道萬有之首全能神正在地上帶領我們，是他在掌管一切，我的病能不能好都只願交托給神來掌管；同時也讓我明白了只要我有一口氣，神都不會讓我死。頓時，我就如吃了一顆定心丸似的，不再害怕自己因著病痛會早死。借著讀神的話，我也明白了神對人的要求：要多多禱告神，注重讀神的話語，注重明白真理；另外還要具備約伯的信心，真心地依靠神，不要疑疑惑惑，不要太注重肉體，因為撒但就是借著人的肉體來苦害人的；當我們識破撒但的詭計時，就不會被撒但愚弄苦害了。我明白神的心意之後，就把自己的病痛完全交托仰望在神手中，不活在肉體病痛裡，而是憑著「全能神是全能的醫生！活在病裡就是病，活在靈裡就沒病，只要你有一口氣，神都不會讓你死。……神的話語真甘甜！神話就是特效藥！羞辱魔鬼和撒但！摸著神話有依靠，神的話語速效救心！萬事皆無一切平安」這兩句神話活著，並注重明白真理認識神、追求生命性情的變化，身上的這些病痛不知不覺全都好了。這一切真是大大出乎我的預料，沒想到我多年來四處求醫都沒治好的各種疾病，今天竟然能得著根治！這真讓我體嘗到神話的權柄與威力，更讓我看到神就是全能的醫生！https://reurl.cc/QmkM5
如今，我接受神的話語做生命，享受著神愛的保守，健康快樂地活在造物主的面前！我非常感謝神的拯救之恩，一切榮耀歸於神！
末世基督的發表《獨一無二的神自己 四 神的聖潔（一）》第三部分
English Christian Devotional Song With Lyrics | "The Way to Quieten Your Heart Before God"
Ways to quiet your heart before God
are to begin with ways of prayer.
Have a single mind, pray at a fixed time.
Even if busy, pressed for time, no matter what comes upon you,
daily pray as normal, eat and drink God’s words.
Prayer is where you should start from.
Peaceful prayer bears the best fruit.
Eat God’s words, imbibe, try obtaining light.
When you ponder over God’s words, the path to practice you should seek,
know where God’s words aim, and don’t deviate.
Draw God near to your heart and contemplate God’s love.
Ponder the words of God, block outside distractions.
Quieting your heart before God
is one of the most crucial steps for entering into God’s words.
All urgently need this lesson,
all urgently need this lesson.
When your heart’s at peace to a point that you’re able to muse within
and ponder God’s love in all occasions,
that you truly draw near to Him
and your heart is so full of praise,
it exceeds prayer, then you have stature.
Only after they are able to truly be at peace before God,
man is affected by Holy Spirit.
They’ll be enlightened and guided and illuminated by Him.
They’ll commune with Him and can grasp His will.
If people can reach this, then they will have entered onto the right track in their spiritual lives.
Quieting your heart before God
is one of the most crucial steps for entering into God’s words.
All urgently need this lesson,
all urgently need this lesson.
from Follow the Lamb and Sing New Songs
基督徒見證：親子教養的祕訣
小編語：俗話說「家家有本難唸的經」，不知你家中的那本「經」是「婆媳經」「夫妻經」，還是「兄弟經」呢？不過不管是哪本「經」，總之都令我們頭疼與無奈呀！今天，我們與大家分享的是父母最關心也是最頭疼的「兒女經」。基督徒Fanny為了兒子Jay能健康成長，在日常生活中，要求Jay凡事都聽她的。可事與願違，隨著Jay一天天長大，他越來越不聽Fanny的話，還經常與Fanny唱反調發生口角，但Fanny後來能和兒子和睦相處了，她是怎麼經歷的呢？https://reurl.cc/nydQ8
Fanny與Jay的第一回合
一天，Fanny從外面回來，車子剛停穩，Jay就從房間「蹬蹬蹬」地跑出來，打開車廂到處翻看後，失望地說：「媽媽，你怎麼沒給我帶好吃的回來？我要吃零食。」Fanny看到兒子噘著小嘴不願意的樣子，心想：「這孩子真是的，不好好吃飯，天天就知道吃零食，這樣下去身體還能好嗎？不行，不能再慣著他了。」想到這兒，Fanny板著臉說：「你整天不好好吃飯，就知道吃零食，這些東西都是垃圾食品，對你的身體一點兒好處都沒有！以後你少吃零食！」「我比別人吃的少多了。」Jay嘟著嘴抱怨道。Fanny看Jay竟然敢頂撞自己，她氣不打一處來，大聲地責備道：「你是你，別人是別人，我讓你少吃零食都是為了你好！」哪知Jay根本就沒有把Fanny的話當作一回事，自顧自地拿起手機給他爸打電話，讓他爸給他帶零食回來。Fanny看著Jay的舉動感到很無奈，心想：「我是怕你零食吃多了對身體不好，你不理解我這份心還抱怨我，真是太不懂事了！唉，你連媽的話都不聽了，我這麼說不都是為你好嗎？」
Fanny與Jay的第二回合
中考前夕的一天，Fanny算了Jay離報考時間僅差六天，本以為兒子會加緊複習，準備報考需要的東西，誰知Jay卻是一副無所謂的樣子，似乎報考跟他沒關係。Fanny看在眼裡急在心上，便催促Jay：「你明天趕緊把老師的電話號碼要過來，讓你爸問一下老師報考都需要什麼東西，要不要老師帶你去。」可Jay卻滿不在乎地說：「不用打電話問老師了，之前老師說過報考只要戶口本和學籍號，到時候我和同學一起搭車去就行了。」Fanny聽了Jay的話，心裡的火「蹭」的冒了出來：「你這孩子，才多大呀，就敢自作主張！聽我的話難道會害你嗎？」想到這兒，Fanny語氣強硬地對兒子說：「你把老師的電話號碼拿過來，你爸打電話讓老師帶你去，你年紀太小，沒有單獨去過那個城市，只有老師陪你去我們才放心。」Jay聽著Fanny的話臉上露出極不耐煩的神情，便不再搭理Fanny了。https://reurl.cc/nydQ8
Fanny看到兒子這樣就更生氣了，便教訓起了Jay：「你小小年紀自己出門可不行啊！就按我說的來，讓老師帶著你去，這事就這麼定了。」可Jay也不甘示弱，歪著腦袋對Fanny說：「我長大了，這些事我自己就能做，不用你管！」Fanny聽了Jay的話，心裡就犯堵：「我都是為了你好，你還反過來頂撞我，真是越大越不聽話了！不行，今天非得好好和你說說……」就這樣，母子間的氣氛瞬間凝固了，兩人大眼瞪小眼吵了起來，最終鬧得不歡而散。
找到母子不和的根源
Fanny常常為此感到困惑：「為什麼我們母子之間總是不能好好相處？是自己教育的方式不對，還是兒子太不懂事了呢？到底該怎麼與兒子溝通呢？」Fanny把這些問題帶到神面前向神禱告尋求：「神啊！我與兒子之間的矛盾愈演愈烈，我心裡很痛苦，我對他要求嚴格一些都是為了他好，可他卻總是跟我對著幹，一點也不理解我的心。神啊！我也不知道這到底是什麼原因導致的，願你幫助我，使我知道該怎麼做才能與兒子正常相處。」
禱告後，Fanny看到神的話說：「就是因為父母總佔著父母的位子不下來，總佔著地位不下來，兒女就跟他擰勁。很多事其實就是因為父母總佔著父母的位，總把自己當回事，總把自己當成父母、長輩，『無論什麼時候你也逃不出我這個當媽的（當爹的）手心，你到什麼時候都得聽我的，你都是我的孩子，不管到什麼時候這個事實不變』，這個觀點把他害得挺苦、挺慘，把兒女害得也挺苦，活得也挺累，是不是這麼回事？這是不是人不明白真理的表現？這事怎麼實行真理呢？……就是放下父母的地位和身分，放下父母的架子，放下自己認為自己作為父母該擔的一切責任、自己該盡的該做的，而是盡到一個普通弟兄姊妹的責任就行了。你們說這個容不容易做到？（不容易。）為什麼呀？（因為人付出了，覺得這個孩子是我生的，也是我養大的，我就應該管著他，說著他，我有這個資本。）對，他管別人沒資本，人家不讓他管，他管不了，他不敢管，他好不容易撈個父母的地位，他還能不佔一輩子？好不容易有一個他能管的，還能不一直管到底？還有許多父母認為自己做什麼都沒錯，『我這麼做只要是為他好就沒錯』，他還有這個思想觀點呢。你怎麼就沒錯呢？你也是敗壞的人類，你怎麼斷定你自己就沒錯呢？你只要承認你自己沒有真理，是敗壞的人類，那你就有錯，你就能出錯；你能出錯，你怎麼還事事處處都管著兒女，讓兒女處處事事都聽你的呢？這是不是狂妄性情？這是狂妄性情……」（摘自《有正常人性起碼該具備什麼》）
神的話使Fanny明白了，她與兒子不能和睦相處就是因她總憑著狂妄性情站在母親的位置上要求兒子導致的。Fanny認為兒子是她生的，她就有權管著，並且她覺得自己為兒子安排的一切都是為了他好，兒子就應該聽她的。一旦兒子不聽甚至還頂撞她的時候，她就生氣、難受、痛苦，認為是兒子不理解她的一片好心，就更想以當媽的身分來壓制兒子，強迫兒子聽她的。這樣一來二去，Jay感受不到從Fanny來的愛與關心，而是強行的壓制與束縛，致使Jay在心裡抵觸Fanny，即使有時Fanny說的對，Jay也很難接受。慢慢地，Fanny與兒子之間的關係就越來越僵，矛盾越來越多，互相之間產生了隔閡。Fanny也認識到，她就是一個敗壞的人，沒有真理，很多時候她的想法也不一定合適，對兒子的一些要求也不一定都對。可Fanny一點都不了解兒子的想法，也不站在兒子的角度上考慮問題，還把她認為對的、好的事物強加在兒子身上，要求兒子聽她的，使兒子常常與她反著來。Fanny這才看到她憑著狂妄本性活著，給自己和兒子帶來的都是傷害！認識到這些，Fanny的心平靜多了，她不再把眼光盯在兒子身上，而是立定心志按神的要求去實行，放下母親的地位和兒子多溝通、談心，嘗試更多地聽聽Jay的想法，理解、體諒他，給他空間，尊重Jay的意見。如果Jay有些地方做得不合適，也應該耐心引導，並心平氣和地和Jay交談這樣做的利弊，使兒子作出正確的選擇，這才是與兒子相處的正確方式。接下來，Fanny再與兒子相處時，就有意識地放下自己，按照神的話來對待兒子。https://reurl.cc/nydQ8
9月份，Jay考上了重點中學。開學前，Jay對Fanny說：「媽，我現在上重點中學了，你一個星期至少要給我三百元零花錢。」Fanny驚訝地問：「你要這麼多錢幹嘛？」Jay支支吾吾地回答：「我想……我想買零食吃。」Fanny一聽Jay要這麼多錢是為了吃零食，火氣不由得就上來了，她本想訓斥Jay一頓，但轉念想到之前讀的神話語，還有自己在神面前立下的心志，覺得不能再憑著狂妄本性教訓Jay了。於是，Fanny叫Jay坐下來，心平氣和地與Jay交談起吃零食對身體的危害：「兒子，媽不是限制你吃零食，關鍵是現在的人為了掙錢不擇手段，在零食裡面加添各種化學物質，咱們如果貪圖一時的口慾，不正常吃飯光吃零食，不知不覺就把這些化學物質都吃到身體裡面去了，這些化學物質在體內越積越多，身體漸漸就會生各種疾病，你的身體慢慢就垮了，所以說吃零食對我們是有百害而無一利啊！神給我們預備的食物豐豐富富，各種穀物、豆類、蔬菜、水果等等，只要我們不挑食，一日三餐就可以補足我們身體的需要，使我們有一個健康的身體……」當Fanny放下母親的地位與Jay交流時，Jay也不犟了，點了點頭說：「媽，我知道了，這些零食吃多了對身體不好，神賜給我們的食物才是最好的，以後我儘量少吃零食多吃飯，多吃水果、蔬菜……」Fanny聽著Jay的回答，心裡有種說不出的高興，她由衷地感謝、讚美神！這次談話使Fanny對神的信心增加了，她體會到按神的話實行就會輕鬆釋放，與兒子的關係也緩和了，於是她暗立心志，以後在對待兒子的問題上，一定要多尋求真理，根據神的話實行，不再憑敗壞性情做事。
很快到了Jay月考的時間，考試結果公布後，Jay的英語成績剛及格，總成績一落千丈，是班上第四十幾名。同學笑話Jay說：「恐怕你今天回去又要挨訓了……」Jay也因此悶悶不樂。晚飯前，Jay猶豫了好一會兒，才從書包裡拿出成績單讓Fanny簽名。Jay有點怯懦地說：「媽，這個月的月考，我沒有考好……你……你不要罵我……」Fanny接過Jay的成績單，一看Jay的成績下滑得這麼厲害，不由得有些生氣，心想：「你學習成績下滑這麼多，肯定是平時貪玩沒好好學，如果不說說你，下次說不定還會考成這樣。」正當Fanny準備教訓Jay時，Fanny想起神的話說：「需不需要用教訓的口氣來說呀？不需要教訓，不需要大聲，也不需要喊，更不需要用生硬的詞語、語氣、語調，就學會用正常的聲調，站在正常人的位置、地位上交通，心平氣和地說，說心裡話，爭取把你所明白的、把他需要明白的都倒出來，都說清楚，說明白。說明白之後他也明白了，你的負擔也得到解決了，他也不誤解了，你也更透亮了，這是不是都得造就的事？這事需要擰著勁說嗎？」「就是不能轄制，不能管束，不能總想掌控、控制他的一切，允許他出錯，允許他說錯話，允許他做幼稚不成熟的事，做愚昧的事，不管發生什麼事，心平氣和地坐下來說，交通，尋求。」（摘自《有正常人性起碼該具備什麼》）
Fanny從神的話中明白了，她想教訓兒子還是受狂妄本性支配的，這樣不僅解決不了問題，還會使她與兒子的關係越來越惡化。Fanny想到兒子在成長的過程中做些錯事，有一些失誤這都正常，關鍵是出現這些問題的時候，能引導、幫助兒子找到事情錯誤的根源，對這些事有分辨，明白相關的真理，找到切實可行的路途，這才是最重要的。Fanny意識到她不能再站在父母的地位上總想掌控兒子了，得給兒子自由成長的空間。於是她趕緊呼求神，求神保守她不隨從狂妄自大的撒但本性做事，能正常地跟兒子交流。Fanny平復了一下自己的心情，心平氣和地對Jay說：「兒子，媽媽以前處處要求你按著我的意思來，看到你有一點沒有做好就衝你發火數落你，給你帶來了很多傷害，導致我們母子倆不能和睦相處，是媽媽太狂妄了。其實我們人都有做錯事的時候，都有失利的時候，這些都正常，重要的是咱們藉著這些事總結失敗原因，以後吸取教訓儘量避免，那這些失敗就成咱以後成功的基礎了。就像你這次考試沒考好，只要你吸取教訓，總結沒考好的原因，以後努力學習，盡力去考，媽媽是不會責怪你的。」Jay聽了Fanny的話感到很意外，滿臉的愁雲頓時消散開來，並答應Fanny以後一定努力學習。
後來，Fanny在生活中也有意識地放下母親的身段，更多地依靠神，按照神的要求與兒子相處。與此同時，Jay也在不斷地發生著變化，他不再像以往那樣常常吃零食了，當Fanny有事外出時，Jay還做飯給他爸爸吃。雖然這些都是生活中的小事，但Fanny深深地體會到她與兒子能有這樣的轉變，都是神的愛與拯救，如果不是神話語的開啟、帶領，使她對自己的敗壞性情有認識，她還活在母子不能和睦相處的痛苦中。經歷過來Fanny感受到：在現實生活中，神擺設的各種環境都是為了變化她的敗壞性情，只要細心尋求，按著神的話行事、為人，人性活出就會越來越正常，與兒女會越來越知近，教育兒女也不再犯難了。實行神的話就有神的祝福啊！https://reurl.cc/nydQ8
一切榮耀歸於神！
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小編語：原來我們與兒女不能和睦相處，主要是因著我們憑著狂妄性情總覺得認為自己為兒女安排的一切都是為他好，兒女就應該聽，一旦兒女不聽，我們就會認為是兒女不理解做父母的一片好心，就更想以父母的身分來壓制兒女，強迫兒女聽從，而兒女感受到的只是強行的壓制與束縛，致使孩子在心裡抵觸父母，與父母之間的矛盾越來越深。通過Fanny的經歷也使我們看到，神的話就是解決父母與兒女不能和睦相處的良藥，我們只要按照神的話來實行，就能與兒女和睦相處。小編繼續為您推薦文章《親子關係出現危機該如何解決》《與兒子和睦相處其實很簡單》希望能給與子女之間有矛盾的父母帶來一些幫助。
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